What made me think of these words from the Bible was that my cousin died recently.
I was very sad.
It’s a very different feeling when hearing that someone you knows dies. I’m used to watching the flowers and trees in our yard die each winter and even seeing an animal in the street who got run over or a baby bird that fell from its nest. I knew death was part of life, but never had someone so close to me die.
A couple of months ago, my Mom told me that Linda was seriously ill and said that she was going to die. I had lots of questions ~ like what does that mean, what happens when a person dies.
So I guess when I was told she had died, I knew I would never see her again, she wouldn’t play catch with me one last time, or come to my baseball games to cheer me on, and I wouldn’t hear her silly laugh. Seems Linda’s body just stopped working.
I felt the tears in my eyes and all I wanted to do was go outside and throw a ball a hundred times against the fence. My face was hot and wet. I felt sad and angry. Patti cried a lot while writing a letter to Linda to say goodbye and played the song Turn, Turn, Turn over and over again.
Tricia just started cooking. I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t crying ~ how could she not feel sad? My Mom said that everyone grieves in their own way, at their own time and just because Tricia wasn’t crying, didn’t mean that she wasn’t sad.
I had to ask my Mom when was she going to die? When would I die? I guess I felt scared, because no one really knows for sure. It was reassuring though to know that it probably won’t be for a very, very long time.
At Linda’s memorial, we got to see a lot of our family. It was better than I thought it was going to be. Lots of people were crying and very sad, but everyone was sharing these great stories about Linda. It felt more like a celebration of her life. She was quite a special person.
I’m going to miss my cousin Linda, but I have even more great memories of her now. I’m gonna go throw a ball against the fence now and think some more of her.